Earlier this Spring I had the chance to read "No More Perfect Kids" by Dr. Kathy Koch. I now think that book belongs on every parent's shelf, and I'm inclined to think that "Never Say No" should be next to it.
This is an awesome book that's full of ideas that could change our relationships with everybody, not just our children. But if you have children, so yourself a favor and try this book. It does not set itself up to be an owner's manual, an instruction book, or a recipe. After all, we are dealing with human beings- not rifles, engines, or collie dogs.
As the authors explain, if you want behavior modification, there are numerous ways to achieve that. Who hasn't seen shame, fear, and anger used to manipulate somebody? It "works"- on the surface. People adjust their words and actions to appease and calm the situation. Yet deep down, that unhealthy trio destroys.
So what do we really want when dealing with people in general and when raising children in specific? We want relationship, I'd say.
We want communication and understanding.
That's what this book is about. It's about walking without our kids through each area of life. Together, we can share the "safe chaos" of community, we can explore God's work and His ways, we go with courage into the big world, we can let Christ shape our character, and we can train our appetites to crave the good, the better, and the best.
Working from the infant years through childhood and up to the late teens and twenties, Mark and Jan share what they tried to do with their kids, and we find inspiration for ourselves. There are so many things to consider as you read this book, little things that you can integrate into your days. They discuss all the usual stuff- praise, boundaries, discipline, confidence, responsibility, goals, dreams- but they set each topic in the context of relationship, and that's what makes this book valuable.
I thank Litfuse and David C Cook publishing for my review copy.